What he needs
by HappehMerro
Summary: Seems to never be what he gets. Maybe this time, it could be better. Song fic, and the first one I've published. Read and review please? Song is Aquarius by Aqua


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First story up, so be nice! X) This hasn't been beta read though, so point out mistakes if you see any! Thanks!

**Bold **= Song lyrics

Normal = The actual story

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**Aquarius, was born the night**

Ciel knew... he knew Sebastian would one day take his soul. He knew this demon was, well, a demon. Vowed by moon with him, knowing his life was already on a silver platter for the older, more all knowing man, to was a sitting target to this demon. On a shining moon lighten plate.

**The shining stars, needed brighter shining light**

He supposed, demons needed humans to live. They may have been soul stealer, but they lived to the rules, and wasn't that all that was to life anyway?

If demons were shining examples of stars, doing what they have to do, and only that... then the human must have been the even brighter one. To show the demon the change, and to show them humanity.

**Aquarius, was my savior**

Ciel called Sebastian to save him, causing his soul to be put in the contact. He needed out of that horrible place right then and there. He couldn't stand it anymore. Sebastian always came when he called, even when he thought about him, he was always by his side. Saving him.

Ciel was proud to call Sebastian HIS demon. HIS saviour.

**It came along, like a blast from out of sight**

When it appeared the first time, he'd only got a glance of it's eyes, it's pitch black skin. Or feathers, or scales, or whatever it was. He remembered it coming in a flash of black light, almost blinding him. As it licked it's finger, talking, Ciel couldn't help to think that, maybe, just maybe, he could fall for this... thing.

**When I was weak, you came along**

He didn't need to call Sebastian, he just needed to wait. His sign of contract pulled the demon towards him, put sometimes, he thought when he was being carried though the masses of dead bodies, that Sebastian had put on a show for him, and him only.

He had smirked when Ciel stared at the body with a knife in it's head. He'd called it divine projection.

**Enlightened me, covered the sun**

Sebastian knew all these bits of information, little things that Ciel learned to remember. When he was outside, talking or doing anything, the demon would stand in front of the sun. He'd asked once, but he'd just smirked. Said it was bad for his eyesight.

Ciel thought the demon was awfully protective of him. He never complained.

**You seduced me, I can never ever run**

Demons liked to use human's lust to get information. Sebastian was no different. But he only ever did it for Ciel, even though he didn't like him doing it. It always left him embarrassed, he always wanted to order the demon to kill the women after he got the information. When Grell was there, he felt like joining him in glaring down the woman, who was idly brushing her hair. Even when he got annoyed and stormed off, the demon would be right behind him. He just couldn't get away from him!

**Cause I, can only lose**

Ciel was always bound to lose, as whatever had killed his family wasn't human. It'd flown away. He was always going to lose, that was all he could do. He needed a supernatural power to grant his wishes. So when Sebastian turned up, he knew he found his muse to life.

**When I'm, Aquarius**

He hates being the Phantomhive child, if he could call himself that anymore, after everything that had happened in his time as a slave. He hates being Ciel, being just a KID. But he had to get his revenge, and that was all that mattered.

**You're the power that I need**

Ciel had to admit, he needed Sebastian. He needed his power to get though to his wishes. He owed him his life, his soul, and with Sebastian's power, he supposed the demon deserved it.

He still felt attached. He still needed the demon beside him to get on with everything. He only needed Sebastian.

**To make it all succeed, can hear me call?**

Ciel called on him, and he always answered. Not that he wasn't ever around in the first place. Even if he didn't say his name out loud, just thought it, he would turn up. He'd asked him once if he could read his mind, but Sebastian said that was a silly thing to think, as if the demon had to get any closer to Ciel in the first place. Ciel had rolled his eyes at him, as the demon repeated again,

"I cannot tell lies Bochan." and that damned smirk again. He hated that demon.

Hated him for making him feel like this.

**Aquarius, is the stardust**

Sebastian seemed to twinkle in the moonlight, he always looked better in it's faint glow. He didn't think the demon could look any better, but it seemed so.

He was always outside, playing with that damned cat that always got more attention than him at night. He only frowned when the Demon told him he reminded him of a cat, and growled when he turned. He hated that cat. It always managed to remove Sebastian from him.

So Ciel was happy when it got ran over by Liz's horses. He thought it about the only thing the stupid blonde could do right.

**It kills the faith, and the only one I trust**

Ciel only trusted Sebastian, only had faith in the demon. But that's what he was and always would be. A demon, one who stalks the night, souls, blood, doom. It killed him, but one day he finally realized, he was doomed from the beginning. So it didn't really matter. So he didn't care, and learned to believe the demon, maybe even somewhere in that cold heart Ciel knew he had, love the demon.

He was doomed anyway. He told himself this until the end.

**It calls your name, and you listen**

Sebastian almost never called Ciel by his real name, it was always "Bochan," or "Young master,". Every once in a while, Ciel would find himself longing to hear his real name from those lips. He shook his head to those silly thoughts, what was he thinking? It would be tainted... he would be tainted. There was only one way to get him to say his name, and he worried when he started to think about doing it. It wasn't normal, he should want kids! A wife! A family!

...only it didn't feel right. He didn't want it. He only wanted Sebastian.

**It steals your soul, and your hunger and your lust**

Ciel knew, he knew and kept reminding himself. Sebastian was going to take his soul. But the demon was always looking after him, doing things that were never in the contract in the first place. He found the birthday cake he'd made him, and if Sebastian didn't have a heart, Ciel didn't know why. It had wasted the demons time, he had daily duties that he usually needed to do right on time.

The demon kept his hunger away. And Sebastian would get rid of anything else that Ciel wanted him to. ANYTHING.

He would even steal his lust.

**For life, and being free (it's killing me, it's killing me)**

He had called him to keep living, the slave that he was before, it was horrible. The mark on his back still hurt. But the way he was living know, as the Queen's dog, as a demon's lunch... it was killing him. He didn't WANT to be the Queen's dog. He didn't WANT to be Sebastian's dinner. But beggars can't be choosers.

He wanted Sebastian, but he didn't want to be his food source.

**It's dragging you, it's killing me (it's killing me, it's killing me)**

The contact made it so that Sebastian had to turn up whenever Ciel called him, so it ended up dragging him everywhere. Danger was around every corner for the Earl. It was better for the demon to always be around. But having him beside him, always seeing him, always wanting him..

It was killing him.

**You seduced me, I can never ever run**

He couldn't get away from him. Not ever, he was going to be there until the very end of the Phantomhive household. He was going to end it, the two of them were. Together. He wanted to do more than just end his life with Sebastian, he wanted to...

He shook his head.

No. That could never be.

**Cause I, can only lose**

He was losing. Losing a battle towards the demon, losing his life.

He was bound to lose, and he hated it. He wanted to be someone else, something different. Ciel felt tears fall, and cursed at himself. If he was anyone else he wouldn't be able to do this, he wouldn't have the power. He wouldn't have Sebastian.

Though he'd give it all up for the demon if he had to. If only for one moments peace with his elder. His demon.

**When I'm, Aquarius**

He had always wanted to change his name, only for a moment. To something completely random. When he was pretending to be a child in the slums, he acted as if he hated it, but deep down he was in love. He wanted to be different, he wanted to be poor. It was strange, but then again, so was Sebastian.

**You're the power that I need**

It was the first time in a long time that he'd trusted someone with his life. He couldn't remember a time when he did. It hurt him deep inside to admit that it was Sebastian's power that had gotten him out of most of the kidnappings he was in. He wanted to say they'd done it together, he would lie to say that if he wanted to, but he knew it was wrong. He didn't want only his power, he wanted his love.

...not that Ciel thought demons had hearts.

**To make it all succeed, can you hear me call? Can you hear me call?**

He called and called, screaming. He didn't want this to happen again! No! Get them away! With their grinning faces, and banding irons, he hated them! So he called, shouting his name into the heavens, or was that hell? He was so afraid, more so when the Demon didn't turn up. He twisted and turned on the table he was held onto. The pain was almost unbearable. So when he fainted...

He woke, Sebastian was standing over him. Smiling. "You called me?"

**I wish the stars would turn you in, and leave me standing in the wind**

Sometimes, he wanted Sebastian to go away, to just disappear. But that would leave Ciel on his own, standing on his own with no protection. He didn't want that.

When he gave up, just before he was sure his death day was, he hugged the demon. In the black lit light, with the cat watching. He didn't care, smelling the fabric on the demons suit, he wanted to hold him. Before he disappeared forever.

**I wish the devil gave you up, and all the snow would melt and stop**

Sebastian belonged to the devil. If the devil gave him to Ciel, he would be his forever. Ciel wouldn't mind that, it was boring without him around, the way he walked. Talked.

It bothered him. How much it could do to him.

The fluttering feeling when he was touched. The blush that tainted his cheeks when he caught his eye. The way he just couldn't look away when he thought he wasn't looking. He wanted it to stop, but he didn't. He wanted it to melt, but it would never.

He supposed he would miss it, if the feelings left.

**This is it, I can't run away**

He was sure, this was it. He was going to die, his soul was going to be taken, and he would never see or think or love or hold... he asked for it to be painful, he wanted to feel his life being taken. Sebastian leaned close. Ciel shut his eyes and sighed.

The end was nigh.

**You're controlling my life, and I can hear me say**

He thought about everything that he and Sebastian had been though. The pain he'd had, almost unbearable. The way his heart had pounded and sank when he found Sebastian had no quells with getting with the women to get information.

He'd almost forgotten he'd had a heart. The only thing he had left were empty tears.

He couldn't wait for death.

But instead of the bleak nothing he expected, Sebastian kissed him.

Suddenly, the pain wasn't so bad.

**Cause I, can only lose**

He wanted to lose. He wanted to fall down the pit and never hit the bottom. Ciel was only little when he was taken into the underworld, little to an adult human. He'd been though so much shit, so much pain and reject that he wasn't sure if he could feel anymore.

Who wants a relationship anyway? It's all to much work...

It made Ciel cry, weep. Scream out for something better. He didn't want to be in this stupid manor, with this stupid butler... anything. Anything to stop the pain from eating him alive.

So he was taken to Hell, Sebastian's home.

But he still felt like he was _losing_.

**When I'm, Aquarius**

When Ciel thought about it, Sebastian was the only thing he had. He should count himself lucky. Some people didn't have anything. Had to live though the heartbreak all their lives. He had felt the burning, soul consuming pain. It was sore, it had hurt.

Not anymore. The demon took the pain away, funny. Such an oxymoron.

He hadn't wanted to be, but now he did.

When he didn't have the _choice_.

**You're the power that I need**

The demon held the key to his life, and the pain had left. He almost felt whole, in this fiery afterlife, like he finally belonged somewhere. Like something had finally gone right. Not much went right in his life, everything had a bad side. Everything ended up paining him to the point of...

He'd tried jumping off the top of the manor once, put Sebastian had caught him. Gave him the power to live on, in a broken state. Ciel always wondered if the demon could put all the pieces back together.

**To make it all succeed**

His demon had done it, made it all, finally, succeed. He had done his duty. His time was up.

"Time is a funny thing, " The demon had said, snorting, "In my land, there's no time. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Means that you can't see it, in a different plane of land. Far off, were no one but those who have no time can see." He saw him grin down at the top of his head.

"Everyone is yet to be a ghost. Or, at least...

_are the ghosts the living?"_

**I wish the stars would turn you in, and leave me standing in the wind**

There were no stars here, they didn't deserve the pleasure. He leaned back and sighed, wishing to be able to cry. To grow.

Nothing grew here.

Sebastian came, stood next to him in his true form.

"It's not that bad, Ciel." He looked up and saw the smile on the other man's face.

And he left, leaving him in the wind.

**I wish the devil gave you up, and all the snow would melt and stop**

Hated the devil. Hated the feelings. Hated the memories, thoughts, souls around him. The work here was shit, the demons around him worse. It was like he wasn't even real. He wanted Sebastian... no. His name was Kuro. He wanted him to resign from his "work". Wanted the flames to stop licking at his feet. Needed a few things, only little things. Like how he needed Kuro at night. Needed his love and his touches.

The one little thing he needed the most though,

was a tiny, stupid **_kiss_**.

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Please review?

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